Gay pirate playe

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest pirate in existence. He is gay. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

The three of us look at each gay. We studiously avoid making eye contact playe the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it.

Resident Angry Queer — scarycatter: tootiredforaname: mylordshesacactus:...

We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad. I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van.

She happily waves goodbye as we drive off. Sign up Log in. And plate mounts are cheap. The rules of Gay Pirate Plate are simple by the way.