Chubby chasers gay

What Is a Chub in Gay Slang ?

I have the body mass of a chubby and the body hair of a grizzly. As such I have been classified as both a bear and a chub during my dating life. I guess at this point in my life and given my career path, the pendulum has landed me in the bear space, but I still let my hair down no pun intended with the chubs and chasers!

The Big Fat Gay Podcast, in and of itself, is a weekly show that examines the issues that fat people and their admirers face in their relationships, how they are portrayed in the media and hoy they are viewed by society. The show is hosted by four gay men uniquely qualified to discuss these issues: Dan Oliverio, noted public speaker on the topic, a chaser, and the author of The Round World: Life at the Intersection of Love, Sex and Fat ; Trevor Kezon, a young adult fiction writer and chub who has had his nonfiction writing featured in The New York Times ; Michael Willer, a film editor, writer, director and chaser working in Los Angeles and Donald Marshall, a chub who has worked as a producer, game designer and screenwriter for nearly 20 years.

Dan and Trevor, who are married, bring gay expert opinions on the topics at hand to the table while Don and Michael bring their lived experience and questions to the conversation. I had so many questions and the guys were so forthcoming with their responses that I have decided to break this interview into two articles.

Next time we will talk about fat representation in the media. Dan —I think it would be unfair to characterize one group as being part of the other. The bear and chub communities evolved separately and arose from different needs and social pressures. The two groups are quite distinct but have a great deal of chaser, and increasingly so in recent years.

Nowadays, there are chasers fat men who are quite comfortable mixing into both bear and chub events, as well as many chasers who are attracted to both. However some people definitely feel more at home in one community than in the other. I tend to feel as left out there as I do in the more mainstream gay communities.

Gay seems to be synonymous with being hairy and having a more chubby, masculine-emphasis presentation. I think that feeds into a stereotype that fat people are hapless bumblers romantically, at the whim of anyone who would deign to give them a few crumbs of affection. My longer answer is that chubby chaser is actually a reclaimed term.

Whether or not chubby are fewer chasers is almost immaterial; chasers are regarded as the commodity and therefore get the privilege to act as such. Chubs, if you get to experience that power flip, just know… you really do have ultimate power there. Use it responsibly! Just as chasers should use their privilege responsibly!

Dan —I agree with Michael here. As your question implies, any individual chub or chaser could be seen to have power over the other in a given situation. I describe our relationships as asymmetrical because chasers have thin privilege while chubs have bodies that are stigmatized. If I could change just one thing for chubs and chasers it would be this: Chasers need to come out of the closet about finding fat guys attractive.

On the other side, I wish more chubs knew that being fat is not the root of their dating problems. Lots fat people are in wonderful relationships, and lots of very beautiful thin people are unhappy and chaser. I think the power dynamics are real, but I think it varies more between individuals than belonging to either gay or chubs as a group.

That led me to accept having less power in my own relationships, because I was willing to take the scraps of affection that I could find.